Unrest

It's the promise of hope that's most terrifying
It's the questions it brings that causes unrest
The strongest men kneel when their lives are so broken
The weakest men fight as a part of the quest
To live and be something, to do more than breathe
To understand truth and in that truth be free

It's the waters that rise without seeming to stop
It's the awfulness left in the wake
The tragedy isn't so much in the flood
But what it decided to take
Mothers and fathers, houses and dreams
A city too broken and tired to speak

The world, we are groaning
We stammer our prayers
We reach in the darkness
We crawl in despair
We're searching for saviors
We're searching for depth
We're searching for love
Though it scares us to death

It's the bullets and bombs that make up the news
It's the lives they have ended we see
A flag waves, a face appears rigid and brave
These images crowd our TVs
It's the soldiers who fight, though they don't know the cause
It's the blood they have spilled that should force us to pause

The world, we are groaning
We stammer our prayers
We reach in the darkness
We crawl in despair
We're searching for saviors
We're searching for depth
We're searching for love
Though it scares us to death

It's the One who was sent here, who willingly came
It's Him whose ears hear all the screams
Of His Bride, who is drowning, she's waving her arms
She's waiting for someone to end the routine
Of death and of loss, of hurt and of fear
To vanquish the monsters when they reappear

The world, we are groaning
We stammer our prayers
We reach in the darkness
We crawl in despair
We're searching for Saviors
We're searching for depth
We want to know love
Though it scares us to death

It's the promise of hope that's most terrifying

Just This

I've barely written a thing all summer, so it felt good to write something I deem as "decent" again.


It's the moments I've missed that wound me the most
The wonder of what might have been
The absence of fingers slipped through my own
The fear that has kept me trapped in
It's the courage I've asked for but haven't embraced
That haunts me more than most else
The questions have come but the answers have not
And I end up blaming myself

I fear that I'll give up before the reveal
I pray but your spirit seems so less than real
I hope for a change that will help us to heal
But until, there's just this silence

It's the secrets I've kept that I fear will tempt grace
To start demanding a payment
But the coins of the poor are worth just as much
As the coins of the sinners and saints
It's the shattered pieces I've tried to repair
The debris I have tried hard to hide
That stand out the most, that show I can't fix
That I can't change death into life

I feel far too prideful to come and just kneel
I'd ask, but your answers don't fit my ideal
I'd try, but all trying has lost its appeal
So until, there's just this silence

All It Takes to Drown

I hold on tight to wishes wished
To distant cries of love's lament
To parts of you I used to know
When you had strength and self-control
I fear that you have been misplaced
That you're content to know a grave
That I am not enough to glue
The tiny, shattered parts of you

In my head I always think
If you cared, you'd set it down
You wouldn't take another sip
You'd know that's all it takes to drown
And in my head it's not that hard
But you're the one who lives in chains
You're the one who has to fix
These broken, awful things

I hold on tight and say a prayer
That you will never know the fear
Of questioning the love of Him
Who knew our scars before we did
Who carried all the reasons why
Who carried all the hopeless lives
Who carried all the bottle caps
To clear the way for grace to pass

In my head I always think
If you cared you'd set it down
You wouldn't take another sip
You'd know that's all it takes to drown
And in my head it's not that hard
But you're the one who lives in chains
You're the one who has to fix
These broken, awful things

I hold on tight to memories
And dream another reverie
I pray to One who knows the names
Of every demon we both claim

Too

It felt so good to write again. I haven't in so long, and I forgot how freeing the whole experience is. This new piece might be full of cliches, but it's perhaps the most honest thing I've ever written. I'm not good at praying, so I was hoping this might suffice. For now, anyway.


You say it’s not too late to come running
Oh, I have ran but it’s been the other way
And though it hurts more in the long run
It often hurts more just to stay
Faith breaks so easily when my heart has grown numb
When your glory becomes my routine
And doubt and tradition do not help love along
They act just as traitors, but unseen

Perhaps the reason you never hear me
Is because I never speak
You say your spirit knows each of my groans
When even I doubt what they mean
But I am too weary to groan anymore
To moan and to cry and feel guilt
Grace can heal, but it also must break
The impressive walls that I’ve built

You say that no one is ever out of reach
But I have reached, and just grabbed air
I have tried and tried, but have I really tried?
Or simply muttered these prayers?
Must a man get down on his knees
And sell everything that is his?
Is there mercy that is cheaper than blood?
That is somehow less costly than this?

And maybe the reason that you never seem to touch me
Is because I move away before you can
You say that my weakness can be made perfect
In the grandeur and strength of your hand
But I have turned your truth into clichés
So the power of your promises is void
Your love can save me, oh, I believe it can
But with love comes all self destroyed

My lips have praised and spoken love
I have raised hands in adoration
I have bowed beneath the image of your cross
Readily accepting your salvation
But my worship hasn’t gone to only you
Like a harlot, my lips have known others
Worship has often served as a distraction
As I crawled in bed with different lovers

You’d think that whoring love away would make me sorry
Or make me feel like I am wrong
But guilt has a way of getting buried alive
The moment I think I am strong
And I have never been strong, but I pretend so well
It’s easy to fake, but it’s so hard to fight
When you’ve fallen in love with Love’s enemy
And broken the cords of Love’s plight

Though I often hate you, I desire to love
But through and through, deem myself unworthy
I try to cover up the scabs and the wounds
To myself less dirty
But there is a hope in me that just will not die
Though I have often attempted to kill it
I crave your arms around me, your kisses on my face
But, most of all, your forgiveness

For What Has Been Lost

There is a silence between us
A chasm of doubt and of fear
Words echo, no meaning, just sounds down the hall
Dancing around ‘til they find my ear
And when they do, they go on through
Never settling home
Their meaning is lost, their meaning is dead
But their force is the weight of a stone

I pray that our hearts will again know a beat
Our lungs, just a breath or two more
I pray that the fight will not end tonight
I pray that there’s hope in this war

There is an ocean between us
Something so vast and unknown
Its depth reaching down to places unseen
Places that we just can’t go
The waves, they come quick with the offer to wash
To baptize us new in the saltwater mix
To cleanse away old and in place, give us new
But new things cannot always fix

I pray that our feet will again know a mile
Our arms, an embrace or two more
I pray that the fight will not end tonight
I pray that there’s hope in this war

There is a struggle between us
A love still so twisted, so frail
But love has a way of rising back up
When even the best of us fail
And it’s easy to say that we can survive
It’s easy to promise but so hard to trust
But there is a voice that keeps calling us home
A voice, which claims He is enough

I pray that our hands will again know a touch
Our mouths, just a grin or two more
I pray that the fight will not end tonightI pray that there’s hope in this war

A Song for Day 3

A simple song for a rich, beautiful, complex story.


You shed the cloths they wrapped you in
You got up and walked
You left the stone behind
You made the people talk

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Love is still alive

The men who nailed you there
The ones who mocked your glory
Your love for them is deep
The greatest romance story

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Redemption is alive

You showed your wounds to Thomas
And then he did believe
You saw the wounds I own
You healed and chose to bleed

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Mercy is alive

If I had stood beneath the cross
And heard you call toward home
That no one knows just what they do
I would have said I'd known

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Grace is still alive

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Grace can save my life

Words

Words can be as cruel as a bullet
Piercing our skin and making us bleed
Invading our insides without any notice
With the sound of the shot, it’s too late to take heed
And those of us who claim to be
Those who’d never touch a gun
So often hold the barrel where
We know great damage will be done

As soon as we shoot, we drop the weapon
The scent of the shot fired still in the air
And we run oh-so-quick to escape from the crime
Knowing what we did back there

Words can be as cruel as a war
Making the bravest man shrink
Thrown out like a grenade
They destroy in just a blink
And even the foxholes won’t protect us
The strongest of shelters, oh they’re still weak
Courage weakens so fast out in battle
It weakens so fast when war’s what we speak

And as soon as we shoot, we drop the weapon
The scent of the shot fired still in the air
And we run oh-so-quick to escape from the crime
Knowing what we did back there

Words can be as cruel as we make them
With our hearts so beat up, they often come out
As mean and as tough as the deadliest weapons
To make us feel like we’re fine without
The best suit of armor, indestructible walls
But oh how quickly the best men can fall…

As soon as they shoot, they drop the weapon
The scent of the shot fired still in the air
And they run oh-so-quick to escape from the crime
But it’s not just their prints on the weapon back there
It’s not just the violence that makes this unfair
It’s not just the heart that drips in despair
Words can be cruel yet so unaware